five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
