Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
its not stalking. its research.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
