I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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