On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think a kid would responsible me up
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize