She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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