I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
