But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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