Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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