almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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