i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Randomize
