It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
nutella sex= disaster
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize