Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
