shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
