so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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