I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize