They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
