I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
