singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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