let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
