I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
