Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
