booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
