this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
