no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
