Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize