No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm at about main and main street
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
