Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
