I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it because I queefed?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
