actually, I'm a sock model
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
