so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
