I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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