drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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