Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize