they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
