so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
