Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think people are normalizing furries
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
