you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
