he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
