jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
