Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
