last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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