careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
