just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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