you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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