I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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