the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
