I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
