omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
