I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
