Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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