you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
