the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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