why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
