If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
