So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
