Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
