And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
