Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize