at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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