No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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