AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
