Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
